Dear readers and writers,
I've just sent off my novel, The Bad Project, for a cover-to-cover review, and I'm feeling tumultuous again. This is the third time I've sent the text of one of my books to someone this way. I can't call what I feel anticipation or fear, it's a mixture of both.
It's the shoulder daemon, you see. When he's in his editor phase, he tells me so clearly that I cannot write beautiful prose, that it's full of errors, that it stumbles when it should fly. But when he is in his writer phase, he can't wait to see what the characters can do any more than I can, and he tells me how fascinating they are, and how well the things they do reveal their deeper selves. And even how well I've written about them at times. There's no way I can tell which phase has the upper hand on the truth. But an outsider, a knowledgeable reader, my reviewer'll know for sure.
So, I throw salt over my shoulder, cross my eyes at the evening star, cross my fingers, eschew my husband's lucky number (13), etc and feel on edge. It's not reasonable that the ms has even arrived and I'm already nervous. No one can read it as fast as I'd like this to be over. I tell myself to calm down, breathe deeply. I rub my feet with hand cream. I stretch. I answer old emails that I've almost forgotten about. Is it still the same day? Egads.
cheers,
Laura
Image: Comedy and Tragedy masks from mosaic at Hadrian's Villa, Creative Commons with thanks.
8 comments:
Hey Laura,
If sending it out for review gets you so antsy, what will happen when you submit to agents?? Calm down, drink Chamomile tea, do yoga.
Elizabeth
LOL Elizabeth,
Not so bad, I know from before. I don't expect an answer when I send it to agents so I don't sweat it out the way I do with reviewers. Argh! Next two weeks, I won't be able to sit still.
cheers,
Laura
The shoulder daemon - what a perfect phrase! And your daemon has a twin sister who likes to perch on me - though I've caught on to at least some of her tricks. For instance, I never never never reread until the latest few pages have had a couple of days to cool down - the day after writing, my shoulder daemon bounces up and down pulling my hair and screeching "Shame on you! This is the absolute very worst horrible no good prose anyone ever desecrated a hard drive with! How could you?" and so on. If I wait a few days, she gets bored and lets me honestly criticize the section in question.
Hi Sharon,
I am sorry to hear about the evil twin! Nice that the twin is at least a bit predictable, though. Mine is more capricious. I like to think the daemon is female, hmm! Surely one of the faces in the masks I selected for the image is female, that's true. Thanks for the improved mental image!
cheers,
Laura
Hi readers and writers,
Today, I heard from my reviewer that he has received the ms. And there are two other books in front of it in line for his attention. So he may get to begin it in two years (I mean weeks). Patience!
Laura
Hi Laura,
I like the 'shoulder daemon" image and those masks you used from the villa are super. I wonder how you thought about connecting comedy/tragedy masks with this daemon? I thought a daemon would be small and that's good when I want to get the upper hand over her, but then I thought of my little mama and realized it's not the size, it's the power. So yeah, a little tough daemon on that shoulder saying what I hope are lies, putting down every word I write. Geez. Mine doesn't have (so far) the good side you describe. Lucky you!
Isabelle
Hi Isabelle,
This'll make you laugh: mine's "good" side isn't trustworthy either. I once sent off something at about 1 AM after the good side of the shoulder daemon convinced me it was outstanding. When I read it the next morning I was horrified. So I make myself wait even if she is cheering me on, these days.
best,
Laura
Oh, yeah, Laura, that's what you need ot expect from a daemon after all, LMAO. But it's always nice to get compliments, even from an untrustworthy shoulder daemon, I say.
Ole
Isabelle
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