This week, Madison Woods' posting is gruesome but surprising. Her photo shows the results of a vertical series of cutbacks of vegetation along her road by a road crew...kill or cure this plant invasion seems to be the message. Such a painful looking response to a cut of a grapevine! Anyway, by Friday I had to write 100 words about this. They appear below. Visit Madison's website to join in the #FridayFictioneers fun.
cheers,
Laura
Silent Scream
I welcome criticism or any kind of suggestions for improvement.
They told me I would understand the animal when I wore this ring. But this is stranger, more painful, not at all what I bargained for. Those road workers just wanted to keep the woodsy road clear for vehicles I'm sure. But the wholesale hacking got these reactions from the plants, especially the grapevines, reactions that felt just like they were screaming with pain. Can a cut be like a burn? I don't know, but that's what I'd describe it as, after listening to these agonized vines for two days.
I know I could take off the ring. But I bargained to get it so I could get a message from the birds, and I don't have it yet. I'm stuck listening to any being with something to say. Please, vines, heal yourselves fast.
12 comments:
Interesting take on the photo. I never thought of doing a, basically, realistic story on it. I guess horror and sci-fi form too much of my make-up. On the other hand, you had a bit of both tied in there with the raw truthful feeling.
Scott
That was a different twist on a direct approach. I liked that. The only thing I noticed to crit was in this sentence: "But this is stranger, more painful...". I'd use "more strange" since you used "more painful". To me it just flows better if you make both phrases more similar :)
Very interesting! Listening for for something beautiful, but hearing instead the screams of severed vines. Nature always has something surprising to tell us.
That's a really original take on the prompt, and quite moving too. Well done.
If plants could talk, I wonder what they'd say to us.
Oh, poor vines. That'd be a hard thing to bear, hearing the natural world's cries. It would break my heart.
Really well done.
http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/slick
Or tell them to be quiet. But I suspect the narrator is too kind to say that to the vines. Interesting take.
Ooh, an answer to the old question of whether plants can feel pain. You wrap us up in your story and take us right along with you.
I stumbled a bit on the first line - maybe either "animals" or "the bird" would flow better. but it didn't spoil what felt like a great opening paragraph to something longer.
I'm over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/friday-fiction-torment/
enjoyed, this, it resonated with me.
I enjoyed your different story.
I appreciate a really original story, and this was definitely original.
nicely done - thanks for writing!
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