Thursday, July 12, 2012

Friday Fictioneers: The Buzzard

Hi readers and writers,
Madison Woods, on her blog, challenges writers to come up with 100 word responses to a photo prompt each week in Friday Fictioneers.  Here is mine for this week.  I would love any constructive criticism or general reactions to this piece, as usual.  Cheers, Laura
                                                           
                                                               The Buzzard

Roger said, “C’mon, Susie.  They’re beautiful, how they soar up there with so little effort.  See how they go around in spirals to rise up so high?”

“I know, but they eat carrion.  Not birds of pleasure for me.  Never can see them without a shiver.  If one of us dies out here, they’ll get us, right?”

“In the Australian outback, people put dead bodies on a platform, giving them to the buzzards to eat.  It’s not wrong, it’s part of the whole schema…”

I got up and left.  I’ll just go for a run and let him sit under the tower.  

13 comments:

Sandra Crook said...

Sometimes you just know they're not your type, don't you. Nice one.

http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/every-cloud-friday-fictioneers-july-2012/

billgncs said...

powerful -- do they really do that in the outback? The settlers or natives?

logo-ligi GH said...

True. Buzzards do fly beautifully. They soar, actually. If only someone would them some gourmet meats.

http://logo-ligi.com/2012/07/12/soliloquy-of-a-disgruntled-raven/

CC said...

Lol. Who wants to hear that it's a ritual when you're freaked out? No amount of talking makes it more palatable. I would've walked off as well. Nice work with the prompt.

Ilyan Kei Lavanway said...

I like how she just got up and left when he grossed her out with the description of bodies on a slab for the birds to eat.

http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/malignant-narcissist-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction/

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Lorelei,

What is the tower in the last line? I had trouble placing your characters in some solid location in your story. Not sure what's happening except dread of buzzards of some sort. Sorry to be posting this less than ideal assessment. Probably just me. Potential is there, just didn't get connected.

Aloha,

Doug

http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/roadkill/

janet said...

I do think they're part of the schema, but I can understand some people not liking them. There are places, such as the outback, where nature seems much closer and more real than in cities where people are often divorced from the realities of it. I think you conveyed that.

Reading Pleasure said...

Wow, I'd be put off too. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/fridayfictioneers-spectators/

lora said...

Do you suppose in the outback there are no funeral homes or cemetaries so they leave the bodies exposed for the vultures and buzzards? Just guessing. I'm #14 on the list.

clairemca said...

Interesting cultural reminder, made me think of Tibet and India and all the places where burial rituals are so different. Well done.
http://wp.me/s1nUrn-buzzard

marilynkaydennis said...

Is the tower a water tower? I saw it as such after the mention of the Aboriginal ritual. They do this in India too. So did the Amerindians. All peoples closely connected to the Earth give their discarded bodies to the birds. When there is no flesh left on them, there is a ceremony. It is just one more step in the cycle. Wasting food by burying it, when food is not always easy to find, is irresponsible. And we even add to global warming by cremation. We have lost contact with Nature. We no longer know how to give back. We have forgotten our place in the world.

SharonW said...

He's not very perceptive, is he? You don't logically persuade people out of a gut reaction - actually, what he says amounts to telling her that her feelings are unacceptable.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if he's inventing the story about the Outback, or garbling a different story - my own experience with people like him is that they never bother to get their facts straight; they're too superior for that.

Good for her for leaving! And good for you for writing a story that hooks readers so deeply.

littlewonder2 said...

Love the opposite viewpoints. Personally, I like his more, because I agree with it more, but I like it when character is shown in this way.

http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/friday-fictioneers-crow/